Bonnie, a six-year-old Labrador, had developed a strong reluctance to get into the lady’s car. While she would happily jump into the cars belonging to the man or daughter in the household, she outright refused to get into the lady’s car.
Through discussions, it became clear that Bonnie’s resistance wasn’t about the car itself but rather the emotions and routine surrounding it. Mornings were rushed, with the lady needing to leave for work, which created a sense of urgency. In contrast, when the man took Bonnie out, it was usually after work or on weekends—times when there was no pressure or deadlines.
The lady frequently mentioned how “time is precious,” expressing frustration over Bonnie’s increasing reluctance. Over time, the stress had built up, and eventually, the situation escalated to the point where Bonnie bit her.
A pattern of resistance
Over the years, a routine had formed around getting Bonnie into the car. Since all her walks started with a car journey, the lady initially used a simple incentive—throwing a biscuit into the boot. Bonnie would place her front paws up, and the lady would then lift her back legs in.
Although Bonnie was an agile dog, fully capable of jumping in on her own, she began refusing to do so. Gradually, she stopped putting her front paws up as well. In response, the lady adjusted her approach by turning it into a game—running towards the car enthusiastically to encourage Bonnie to follow and jump in.
However, this new ritual only made things worse. Bonnie started resisting even this method, and her reluctance escalated to snarling and growling at the lady when asked to get in.
The situation finally came to a head one day when, instead of continuing to coax Bonnie into the car, the lady closed the boot and walked her away. At that moment, Bonnie became visibly frustrated and bit her owner’s arm.
A stressed lady and a confused dog
By this stage, Bonnie was clearly confused, and the lady was feeling overwhelmed. There was an expectation that Bonnie should understand that her reluctance was cutting into her own walking time, but from Bonnie’s perspective, the car had become something to avoid.
Then, an unexpected event provided an opportunity for change. Bonnie injured herself on barbed wire and required stitches, meaning she had to be walked on-lead for three weeks instead of her usual off-lead runs.
This change in routine revealed two key things:
- Bonnie was perfectly capable of toileting without an off-lead run.
- Walks did not have to begin with a car journey.
This realization helped to reduce some of the pressure surrounding the car.
A new approach
To help Bonnie, we needed to rebuild her confidence around the car gradually. The plan included:
- Simple exposure: Standing near the car, touching the boot, and rewarding Bonnie with food.
- Step-by-step progress: Opening the boot while giving treats, then closing it again without expecting her to get in.
- Confidence-building at home: Teaching Bonnie to jump on and off objects on cue. This would help her gain confidence in making that movement independently.
- Casual invitations: Later, the lady would open the boot, give a treat, and say “Up you get.” If Bonnie declined, they would simply continue the walk on-lead.
Since Bonnie had controlled the level of effort required to get into the car for two years, it was important to shift the balance. She needed to feel that getting into the car was her choice, not a battle.
A shift in mindset
A key part of the process was adjusting the lady’s expectations. Instead of thinking, “Time is precious,” and feeling frustrated, she adopted a more flexible approach.
If she had an hour for a walk, then she had an hour—whether that involved getting Bonnie into the car or continuing with a road walk. By reframing the situation, the tension around the car disappeared.
At home, the family also worked on strengthening their bond with Bonnie by rewarding her for engaging with them and responding to cues. This helped her feel more secure and less in control of every decision.
A Positive Outcome
Eight weeks later, I received an update:
“Although we are still taking things slowly, Bonnie has been behaving perfectly with the car for about a week now—getting in with no problem before her walk and again on returning. We feel like we’ve really made progress.”
A month later, another message arrived:
“Bonnie has been really settled. Now, when the lady opens the hatchback, Bonnie sits there for a moment before calmly placing her front paws onto the boot floor, happy to be helped in. It’s now a relaxed and natural part of our routine.”
Final thoughts
This case demonstrates how patience, understanding, and gradual desensitization can rebuild trust and change behavior. Bonnie’s reluctance to get into the car wasn’t about the vehicle itself but about the emotions and expectations surrounding it.
By removing pressure and creating a positive experience, Bonnie and her owner were able to break the cycle of resistance. Over time, the car became part of their normal routine again, without stress or conflict.
