Why was Bandit more confident with one owner than the other?
Some dogs are such sensitive receptors to our own feelings. Stunning Saluki/Greyhound Bandit is a case in point.
Confident rock
Sometimes we need to ask ourselves just what it is our dog needs in us. That, then, is how we need to be and it can be difficult. If our dog needs a ‘confident calm rock’, then we must act and even do our best to feel like a ‘confident calm rock’. All the love in the world isn’t a substitute.
This story illustrates the point so well.
The lady adores her beautiful dog. Bandit is a large part of her life. She worries over her and anticipates Bandit’s fears. They may both be well on the same wavelength.
Bandit was a rescue puppy from Ireland and they got her at 4 months old. She was an anxious puppy and then Covid hit. About 2 years ago she started freezing on walks, then refusing to go out at all with the lady or getting into the car with her.
Over time they made some progress.
But now some days Bandit again doesn’t want to walk at all for the lady. Other days she will leave the house but wants to come home soon. Bandit has gone back to taking an aversion to the car when with the lady.
It’s different with the man
The gentleman also adores the dog but in a different way. He doesn’t anticipate trouble so he doesn’t tend to get it. He naturally gives out vibes of ‘confident calm rock’.
The dog is wary of things outside the house – some dogs and people, traffic and so on. She is much more confident with the man.
Bandit is much more relaxed about having the man put her harness on and she goes out with no question. If the man wants her in the car, she jumps in the car.
Sometimes we can interact too much with our dog. We transfer our own emotions. Where the woman may be anticipating problems, it’s likely the man is less imaginative. His demeanour may be more confident and calm.
Bandit making her own choices
It took an online consultation to put the pieces together. I suggest the lady backs off a little and lets Bandit make more of her own decisions. Give up enticing or persuading. For now Bandit can choose where to go on walks, when to come home or whether to go out at all. It may mean the lady initiating several excursions a day out of the house.
The aversion to the car began with the lady’s own car and then involved any car with her in it. We have a plan for when the man is walking Bandit. Starting with lots of ‘in and out of the car’, building it into his walks. Not necessarily driving anywhere.
Next the lady can leave the car down the road, invite Bandit in at the end of each walk and drive it back home. If Bandit says ‘no thanks’, then they can leave it and walk home. Taking off all pressure.
The bottom line is that when we want our dog to change, we ourselves have to change what we do. It’s not necessarily that we are wrong, but it’s not working.
The lady can become a bit less invested in everything her dog does. Let go a bit. Then I believe Bandit should relax and become more confident. We have the gentleman’s general attitude as a model.
Need help with a dog who freezes or shuts down on walks? I offer gentle, force-free behaviour help online.
