The beautiful year-old Cocker Spaniel is very loving with the lady and the gentleman.
However, he charges, barking, when either of their two teenage sons enters the room.
The lady is Rocco’s everything
He is very demanding of her. She has done most of the training and dog parenting since they had him as a puppy.
When the lady works from home. Rocco will quite relentlessly paw at her while she’s trying to work. He carries on until he gets something he wants – usually a game. When she sits on the settee he will lie on top of her face. Very still. Maybe this is his way of having her all to himself? He doesn’t seem to want her to pet him.
When it’s the man is working from home, Rocco is content to sit on a chair beside him.
He charges at the boys
The boys are 13 and 18 and they have learnt to leave Rocco alone.
From the lady’s original message: Rocco will bark and growl as he charges at the kids when they enter a room. He may grab their clothing. When they have been in room for a few moments he grumbles and moves away. He has on occasion snapped at them whilst seemingly playing or just trying to stroke him.
Something troubles Rocco. He’s not as happy and settled as he should be with such a loving family.
Decisions
For starters they can release Rocco from some of the pressure of making so many decisions.
He decides when he wants attention and will persist until he gets it. He feels he should decide whether the boys come into the room. Possibly he associates the boys’ presence with losing their mother’s fairly constant attention. Attention being taken away from himself? She becomes less available.
The lady is at home with him much of the time. The boys spend a lot of their time out of the house at school. Rocco doesn’t react well to them coming in, particularly the room where their mother is.
He won’t walk with the boys. If a boy wants to be able to pick him up (something they no longer do) or play, he may snap or growl.
What can the boys do?
Firstly, I suggest the boys play even more ‘hard to get’ than they have been forced to do already. To avoid going into Rocco’s space wherever he has settled.
When one of them enters the room something troubles Rocco. Any time Rocco goes into a room where the boys already are, it’s fine.
He watches the door from the other side of the room. As he hears a boy come down the stairs he’s ready to launch himself. As they walk in the door, Rocco charges.
A plan
The boy will call Rocco’s name as he comes downstairs. There will be a pot of food somewhere high by the stairs – Rocco is very food orientated. The boy will reward Rocco for coming to him and they can walk into the room together. (The boy may need to call Rocco back with more food if the dog rushes into the room ahead of him and barks).
For now, any interaction with the boys should be with Rocco coming to them. Not with either of them going into Rocco’s space. No more trying to pick him up at all. Minimal petting or touching.
What can the lady do?
Her main challenge is Rocco’s constant pawing and demanding for play while she’s trying to work.
To start with, she will play and give Rocco attention before she sits down to work, before any pawing.
Now she can give him some of his food in a Kong to settle him. She can punctuate her work with play as before, but never in response to pawing. She will rotate chew toys to keep him interested.
When he does start to paw her, she can do either of two things. One is to get up immediately and walk away.
The other is to teach him with ‘Yes’ and food the behaviour that she wants. She will wait for him to cease pawing, then quickly capture the moment with ‘Yes’ and drop food.
She can mark anything she likes which is calm – lying down, sitting, looking away if he’s staring at her and so on. If he jumps onto her to lie over her face, she will slowly and kindly move so he slides gently off. She can indicate sitting beside her with a ‘Yes’ and food. She can give him something else to do.
It will be hard work.
The boys are being very helpful. The younger has suggested at the end of our online consultation that Rocco spends more time in his room when he’s at home. This will give his mum a break. (Rocco is fine going into the boys’ own environment).
The lady wants her dog to ‘love’ everyone. However, he’s not a touchy feely dog and that’s not his way of showing love. Giving him space and playing down excited interactions will do the trick I’m sure. He can then relax happily in the presence of all his family.
Playing ‘hard to get’ may well release a whole new dog! He will relax. Dogs themselves don’t fuss each other much or cuddle. They may like to be close and perhaps one may lick the other. That’s all. Lying on the lady’s face may be the nearest to how a dog may be lying on another dog.
